So chillin on the couch with Sadie watchin Top Chef. Maxin and relaxin on a summer day. Hear a little buzzin in my ear, I wave my hand and think, "stupid fly, how did you get in here?" All of the sudded out of no where KAPOW!!!! The little sucker, who I now know is a hornet, not a fly, stings the bageezus out of my neck. I go bazurk, which makes Sadie go bazurk in a dogie way, and the monster with a stinger goes down my shirt. What?!??!? How does this happen?!?
I spaz out completely and strip of my shirt (thank goodness it was just me and Sadie here...) but before I can get it off, he stings me on my back. I'm fightin back the tears, you know I'm a great big whuss, and I decide I'm gonna catch the awful beast and make him suffer. I found some saran wrap in the trash, tracked him down ( he was a little crushed from my spastic episode when he was still in my shirt) and laid a surprise air attack on him. Now, he's sitting on the kitchen counter in Saran wrap, waiting for Sam to get home so he can see the creature that caused me so much pain.
Ouch.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Bill Cosby
So I like him too.
I really like Jello ;) and I like him too.
Good choice my friend, Good choice.
Two posts at once....what will you do?
I really like Jello ;) and I like him too.
Good choice my friend, Good choice.
Two posts at once....what will you do?
Hmmmm
That's what I'm sayin a lot these days....hmmmm..... I feel like I never know what's going on. The one thing I'm sure of is that I'm ready to leave Knoxville. Not that Knoxville's not a cool place, it's pretty awesome. It has so much to offer-- a super cool zoo, an amazing view of the bridges over the river at sundown (sometimes it takes my breath away), people that have become a major part of my life, the first home I shared with my husband... the list goes on and on. There is one thing that Knoxville doesn't have though, my family.
You wrote something a few days ago about how you just weren't sure who you were. When you were in NC you were Danessa Pollard, and when you were in KY, you were Danessa Barker, but you haven't figured out a way to mesh the two and truly be yourself. Remember? Well I can't tell you how well that described my exact situation. Sam is the other half of me...he completes my life and all that other wonderful mushy gushy stuff I used to daydream about. But I'm not me here in Tennessee. Sure I'm happy, but I need, really need to be close to my family. I feel like there is a big chunk of my life missing, like part of my life is going on without me. How can it be going on without me when I'm here?
Needless to say, going back to North Carolina has been a topic of discussion in our house for quite a while. Sam knows how much it means to me, and we've been working toward it for some time now. We've been applying to jobs left and right and praying that if it's in God's will, he allows us to move back. I know there is a big possibility that God wants us to be somewhere else, and deep inside I'm ok with that. I know that He knows what's best for us even if I'm completely confused. ( This is a good thing since I'm always confused...)
Anyways, a little while after we started applying I was offered a position at my old school. Amazing!! I absolutely LOVED my job there, and I was so excited to go back! Sam got an interview at a school in the same county, so things were gettin pretty exciting. He interviewed and a few weeks later....it was a no go. We were ok though, we thought for sure there would be more options. He got another interview in the next county over, and we're still waiting to hear from it. While we were looking around Franklin, we found out that there were two positions open in Sparta, where Sam's from. We thought we could try there just in case Franklin didn't work out. So...we tried. Sam was offered a job basically the same day he interviewed. I'm still waiting to hear about mine, I should know in the next couple of days.
So all that leads to this....Sam has a job in Sparta, I have a job in Franklin. The next couple of days will decide where we spend the next...large... part of our life. I know I'm so lucky to have two wonderful families that would help out in so many different ways. But I'm so confused and worried. If we go to Sparta, I know my momma will be hurt. Sure she'll put on a smile and tell me how she wants the best for us, but I know it will crush the hopes she had. To tell the truth it will crush the hopes I had too. Sparta is an awesome place though. It's so beautiful, and Sam's family is really great.
On the other hand, if we move to Franklin, Sam's family will probably be disappointed too. I'll be in Franklin with my own wonderful, awesome family, and because Sam is great, he will have supported me all the way and moved along with me. But would I be taking him away from his family? Will I be putting his mom through the same pain I know my mom would go through? Am I saying that my relationship with my family is more important than his? I know that it's not. But those are the questions that are running around in my head.
I want everyone to be happy. I don't want to disappoint one single soul. How can we be happy if someone we love is sad? These people have made us who we are, how do we choose?
I guess the answer is we don't. I'm not big enough, smart enough, or strong enough to make that decision. Our lives are in God's hands, and there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I know that with a God like mine on my side I should have nothing to worry about. It's hard not to worry, and I'm working really hard on giving it all up to God. I know that's the only way this or anything else will ever work. Pray for me that I'll grow stronger, that God will help me to develop the kind of faith I need to go through situations like this without swimming through questions, worries, and doubt.
I know this may seem silly. If this is my biggest problem...geez oh pete, I've got it good. And I really do. I've been blessed in so many ways. One of the greatest things God has given me is a best friend who will listen to my rambling even if she's hundreds of miles away. No matter where we end up, I know I've got you, and that means so much.
Pray for me. I'm prayin for you. God is Good :)
You wrote something a few days ago about how you just weren't sure who you were. When you were in NC you were Danessa Pollard, and when you were in KY, you were Danessa Barker, but you haven't figured out a way to mesh the two and truly be yourself. Remember? Well I can't tell you how well that described my exact situation. Sam is the other half of me...he completes my life and all that other wonderful mushy gushy stuff I used to daydream about. But I'm not me here in Tennessee. Sure I'm happy, but I need, really need to be close to my family. I feel like there is a big chunk of my life missing, like part of my life is going on without me. How can it be going on without me when I'm here?
Needless to say, going back to North Carolina has been a topic of discussion in our house for quite a while. Sam knows how much it means to me, and we've been working toward it for some time now. We've been applying to jobs left and right and praying that if it's in God's will, he allows us to move back. I know there is a big possibility that God wants us to be somewhere else, and deep inside I'm ok with that. I know that He knows what's best for us even if I'm completely confused. ( This is a good thing since I'm always confused...)
Anyways, a little while after we started applying I was offered a position at my old school. Amazing!! I absolutely LOVED my job there, and I was so excited to go back! Sam got an interview at a school in the same county, so things were gettin pretty exciting. He interviewed and a few weeks later....it was a no go. We were ok though, we thought for sure there would be more options. He got another interview in the next county over, and we're still waiting to hear from it. While we were looking around Franklin, we found out that there were two positions open in Sparta, where Sam's from. We thought we could try there just in case Franklin didn't work out. So...we tried. Sam was offered a job basically the same day he interviewed. I'm still waiting to hear about mine, I should know in the next couple of days.
So all that leads to this....Sam has a job in Sparta, I have a job in Franklin. The next couple of days will decide where we spend the next...large... part of our life. I know I'm so lucky to have two wonderful families that would help out in so many different ways. But I'm so confused and worried. If we go to Sparta, I know my momma will be hurt. Sure she'll put on a smile and tell me how she wants the best for us, but I know it will crush the hopes she had. To tell the truth it will crush the hopes I had too. Sparta is an awesome place though. It's so beautiful, and Sam's family is really great.
On the other hand, if we move to Franklin, Sam's family will probably be disappointed too. I'll be in Franklin with my own wonderful, awesome family, and because Sam is great, he will have supported me all the way and moved along with me. But would I be taking him away from his family? Will I be putting his mom through the same pain I know my mom would go through? Am I saying that my relationship with my family is more important than his? I know that it's not. But those are the questions that are running around in my head.
I want everyone to be happy. I don't want to disappoint one single soul. How can we be happy if someone we love is sad? These people have made us who we are, how do we choose?
I guess the answer is we don't. I'm not big enough, smart enough, or strong enough to make that decision. Our lives are in God's hands, and there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I know that with a God like mine on my side I should have nothing to worry about. It's hard not to worry, and I'm working really hard on giving it all up to God. I know that's the only way this or anything else will ever work. Pray for me that I'll grow stronger, that God will help me to develop the kind of faith I need to go through situations like this without swimming through questions, worries, and doubt.
I know this may seem silly. If this is my biggest problem...geez oh pete, I've got it good. And I really do. I've been blessed in so many ways. One of the greatest things God has given me is a best friend who will listen to my rambling even if she's hundreds of miles away. No matter where we end up, I know I've got you, and that means so much.
Pray for me. I'm prayin for you. God is Good :)
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