Thanksgiving

I had a wonderful, awesome, terrific Thanksgiving Break, and I can't wait till Christmas!

We left Sparta early Thursday morning...well it was about 8 after we packed and took Sadie to the doggie sitters. We set out for Hendersonville to have lunch with my family at my cousin Brian's house. We had a great drive down. Driving is such a good time for me and Sam. We get to talk and talk without any interuptions, and we really get a chance to learn a lot about each other. We got there around 11 or so, and my daddy was in the driveway waiting for us. After I got to hug his neck, I dropped off Sam with him and the other men-folk, and I went into the kitchen to yak with the ladies while we finished up cooking everything.

I got to talk a lot with my Granny, and I'm really learning to treasure those times when we can sit down and talk, just the two of us. This last past year has been rough on her. The Alzheimers is really beginning to kick in, and she's having trouble remembering lots of little things. Her short term memory is almost lost completely, but she was having a really great day on Thursday. She talked and talked about how she and my Poppa met and told me all sorts of things about their relationship. I loved listening and learning more about her. I've heard lots of her stories before, but since it was just us chatting, she was able to go into a lot of detail, and I was able to ask her lots of silly questions. It was great.

Lunch was pretty awesome. I stuffed myself with lots of good food, and when those crazy men went off to do their after Thanksgiving thing, the girls stayed in and talked and talked some more. Since Rachel just found out she was pregnant (She and Jesse couldn't come, but my momma was super excited about being a grandma...), we got to hear lots of pregnancy stories. Some were good, and some were kinda scary, but all of them just made me want to have a baby soon myself. My granny cracked me up telling some of her stories. We were talking about carrying babies for longer than 9 months, and she said she was pregnant with each of her kids for about 9 months and 15 seconds! Isn't that funny?!? I didn't think she had it in her!

After our long talks and exchanging names for Christmas, we headed home. We had to stop for gas on the way, and we filled up my car for $17! We got gas for $1.84, and it was awesome! Anyways, we got home and hung out with my parents for a while, and I went to bed around 8:30 so we could get up super early to go shopping...I was very excited, but I went to sleep pretty easily. I was one tired puppy.

We got up at about 4:30 to go to Wal-mart at 5:00. When we got there, people were lined up at the door, down the parking lot, and all the way to the other side of the shopping center. It was insane. Even though we were excited to be there, we stayed in the warm car until they were all inside. We still got everything we wanted though. We fought the crowds and momma got some Christmas presents she was looking for, and I got some 550TC sheets that were pretty nice, and a handfull of DVDs...they were only $2 each. Then we went to Radio Shack where I got that Christmas present you told me about for Sam, and I got him some blank DVDs that were on sale. Then we went to K-mart, where I got some down comforter throws for our living room, and I got a shirt that was on sale for 3 buckos. I also got a cute rug for in front of our front door. It was 3 bucks too...amazing! Then we went to Peebles...this is where things got interesting! I got lots of cute clothes to wear to work and church. By then it was about 10:00, so we went home, where Sam and Daddy were pullin in the driveway. While we were out, they went out to breakfast and to look at Daddy's boat.

I got to play the piano for a little while, and then we got Granny and headed out again! We went to Dalton's, where I got part of your Christmas present, and a present for Shawnda. I also got another part of Sam's present. I'll tell you about it when I talk to you on the phone next...it's pretty sweet. After that we went to Big Lots...I didn't get anything there believe it or not. Then we went out to eat some lunch at a sandwich place. Then we went to two different craft shows and to an antique mall. I didn't buy anything, but it was lots of fun to look at everything and to spend time with Momma and Granny.

When we got home momma made some dinner while I watched some Andy Griffith with Daddy and Sambo. We ate, and then we watched Second Hand Lions, which is now one of my new favorite movies. Then we started watching a James Bond movie, but I definantly didn't last through it...I fell asleep on the floor with Trixie.

The next morning I got up early to meet Shawnda. We drove out to Asheville to get fitted for my dress. It's so pretty. I get to pick it up in January, and I'll send you a picture. We ate at Red Lobster, and then we walked around the mall some. When we got home, momma and I went up to visit with Granny and she gave me a bunch of table runners, doilies, and placemats that my great-grandmother had made. I'm so excited about them :)

That evening after dinner, we played lots of games with my parents. I love playing silly games; it was great fun. We played Trivial Pursuit, a new game called Thryme, and then we played dominoes for the longest time. We laughed and laughed at each other and had a great time.

The next moring we headed back home. The weather was nasty, so we left kinda early, and it took us a lot longer than usual to get home. We finally made it, and got home in time to get ready for school on Monday. On the ride home I got to thing about how thankful I truely am for all that God has blessed me with. I have the most amazing husband I could ask for. We're such a great match for each other. Sometimes it just blows my mind... My family is wonderful and has loved me and helped me through everything in my life. My friends (YOU :) ) make me happy every day and help to show me how cool God has made my world. He truely is an awesome God, you know it? I thank Him every day for you and all the wonderful blessings He's given me.

I am thankful :)

Lonely....I'm Mrs. Lonely...

I'm sittin here in an emty classroom, staring at this empty screen with about a million and one things rollin around in my head. The first thing rollin around is that I haven't planned my class for today. But, I'm thinkin that's ok...I'll wing it ;) It's the day before Thanksgiving and everybody's mind is thinking about everything but school. We have a half day today, and I can't wait for that bell to ring so we can skip town!
School is goin pretty good. I'm still adjusting to Sparta, but I know this is where God wants us to be, so that gives me a sense of peace. Sam's family has been wonderful, and I really love where we live, so I must say we've been pretty blessed. With all these wondeful things though, I can't help but feel a little empty. My life is so full of amazingness, but one thing is missing.

Yup, you guessed it. It's you.

I feel like I'm a million miles away from my friends and family. I get to see you guys every now and then, but it doesn't seem to be enough... There's lots of awesome people here in S-town, but I just haven't met anyone that I feel that kinda connection with. It's a good thing I've got Sambo, cause I'd go insane!

I can't tell you how excited I am that Nessa is moving to Roanoke. I've decided that I'm gonna make it just like she lives next door (whether you like it or not young lady). We're gonna visit on the weekends, we're gonna call each other all the time...even if its just for somethin silly (i'm making jello, or Milo finally pooped outside...), our dogs will have play dates, and we're gonna go on Goodwill trips like there's no tomorrow.

Tell Corey to hurry up and graduate, cause my life needs Danessa. How awesome is it gonna be when she's just a couple hours away.? When I need a good ol' heart to heart, I can jump in the car and be ringing her doorbell in a flash. Thats what I've been needing this whole time...a closer Nessa.

I trust you'll make this happen :) Soon!

OUCH!!

So chillin on the couch with Sadie watchin Top Chef. Maxin and relaxin on a summer day. Hear a little buzzin in my ear, I wave my hand and think, "stupid fly, how did you get in here?" All of the sudded out of no where KAPOW!!!! The little sucker, who I now know is a hornet, not a fly, stings the bageezus out of my neck. I go bazurk, which makes Sadie go bazurk in a dogie way, and the monster with a stinger goes down my shirt. What?!??!? How does this happen?!?

I spaz out completely and strip of my shirt (thank goodness it was just me and Sadie here...) but before I can get it off, he stings me on my back. I'm fightin back the tears, you know I'm a great big whuss, and I decide I'm gonna catch the awful beast and make him suffer. I found some saran wrap in the trash, tracked him down ( he was a little crushed from my spastic episode when he was still in my shirt) and laid a surprise air attack on him. Now, he's sitting on the kitchen counter in Saran wrap, waiting for Sam to get home so he can see the creature that caused me so much pain.

Ouch.

Bill Cosby

So I like him too.

I really like Jello ;) and I like him too.

Good choice my friend, Good choice.



Two posts at once....what will you do?

Hmmmm

That's what I'm sayin a lot these days....hmmmm..... I feel like I never know what's going on. The one thing I'm sure of is that I'm ready to leave Knoxville. Not that Knoxville's not a cool place, it's pretty awesome. It has so much to offer-- a super cool zoo, an amazing view of the bridges over the river at sundown (sometimes it takes my breath away), people that have become a major part of my life, the first home I shared with my husband... the list goes on and on. There is one thing that Knoxville doesn't have though, my family.
You wrote something a few days ago about how you just weren't sure who you were. When you were in NC you were Danessa Pollard, and when you were in KY, you were Danessa Barker, but you haven't figured out a way to mesh the two and truly be yourself. Remember? Well I can't tell you how well that described my exact situation. Sam is the other half of me...he completes my life and all that other wonderful mushy gushy stuff I used to daydream about. But I'm not me here in Tennessee. Sure I'm happy, but I need, really need to be close to my family. I feel like there is a big chunk of my life missing, like part of my life is going on without me. How can it be going on without me when I'm here?
Needless to say, going back to North Carolina has been a topic of discussion in our house for quite a while. Sam knows how much it means to me, and we've been working toward it for some time now. We've been applying to jobs left and right and praying that if it's in God's will, he allows us to move back. I know there is a big possibility that God wants us to be somewhere else, and deep inside I'm ok with that. I know that He knows what's best for us even if I'm completely confused. ( This is a good thing since I'm always confused...)
Anyways, a little while after we started applying I was offered a position at my old school. Amazing!! I absolutely LOVED my job there, and I was so excited to go back! Sam got an interview at a school in the same county, so things were gettin pretty exciting. He interviewed and a few weeks later....it was a no go. We were ok though, we thought for sure there would be more options. He got another interview in the next county over, and we're still waiting to hear from it. While we were looking around Franklin, we found out that there were two positions open in Sparta, where Sam's from. We thought we could try there just in case Franklin didn't work out. So...we tried. Sam was offered a job basically the same day he interviewed. I'm still waiting to hear about mine, I should know in the next couple of days.
So all that leads to this....Sam has a job in Sparta, I have a job in Franklin. The next couple of days will decide where we spend the next...large... part of our life. I know I'm so lucky to have two wonderful families that would help out in so many different ways. But I'm so confused and worried. If we go to Sparta, I know my momma will be hurt. Sure she'll put on a smile and tell me how she wants the best for us, but I know it will crush the hopes she had. To tell the truth it will crush the hopes I had too. Sparta is an awesome place though. It's so beautiful, and Sam's family is really great.
On the other hand, if we move to Franklin, Sam's family will probably be disappointed too. I'll be in Franklin with my own wonderful, awesome family, and because Sam is great, he will have supported me all the way and moved along with me. But would I be taking him away from his family? Will I be putting his mom through the same pain I know my mom would go through? Am I saying that my relationship with my family is more important than his? I know that it's not. But those are the questions that are running around in my head.
I want everyone to be happy. I don't want to disappoint one single soul. How can we be happy if someone we love is sad? These people have made us who we are, how do we choose?

I guess the answer is we don't. I'm not big enough, smart enough, or strong enough to make that decision. Our lives are in God's hands, and there is nowhere else I'd rather be. I know that with a God like mine on my side I should have nothing to worry about. It's hard not to worry, and I'm working really hard on giving it all up to God. I know that's the only way this or anything else will ever work. Pray for me that I'll grow stronger, that God will help me to develop the kind of faith I need to go through situations like this without swimming through questions, worries, and doubt.

I know this may seem silly. If this is my biggest problem...geez oh pete, I've got it good. And I really do. I've been blessed in so many ways. One of the greatest things God has given me is a best friend who will listen to my rambling even if she's hundreds of miles away. No matter where we end up, I know I've got you, and that means so much.


Pray for me. I'm prayin for you. God is Good :)

Turtles

So yesterday Sam was gettin ready to go out of town for an interview (in KY...another story I'll have to tell you Nessa). I called him on my way home from work to say goodbye, I'll miss you, yada yada. Well he told me he was gonna wait to leave until I got home because he had a surprise for me. So I rushed home as fast as my slow drivin self would take me. When I got to our apartment, he showed me this awesome box turtle Sadie found in the woods. I decided my kiddies at school would love to see it, so he helped me make up a little box for him. This was no ordinary turtle home. It was pretty sweet if ya really wanna know the truth. We built in a little pond, got some rocks and greenery, I should really be a landscaper for our fine reptilian friends, but let's get back to our story.
Once my new turtle Gary was settled, my Mr. McClure hit the road and it was me, Gary and Sadie left all alone. (the boys left a few weeks ago, but I think you knew that..) I played the Wii for a little while, put some laundry in the washer, and tried to just chill for a while. It was raining outside, but no thunder booms, so I was good by myself. I was good until the dang power went off. At first it wasn't so bad. It flickered on and off for about 15 min, so I sat on the couch with Sadie, and I was just hopin it would stay on. Then, it flicked off for good. I was a little scared, but I gathered my silliness together, locked all the doors (it was dark and I was alone), and found some candles and a lighter. I set them up and called my mommy. Exactly what every brave adult does in a blackout.
I talked to momma for about 30 min and the minute I got off the phone, the lights came back on. I had made it through my first lonely blackout. I was very happy, and I decided I would go check on the washer to make sure it was going ok. I stepped out the door, heard it slam, and then remembered I forgot to unlock it. Grrrrrrrrr. Luckily I was at our apartment because other people have keys. Unfortunately these other people were quite a long walk away. So I ventured outside in the rain, in the dark, with no shoes, in my pajama boxer shorts, to get the key. Luckily one key holder was home, so I was able to finally get back into the apartment. I decided I would go to bed then, so I wouldn't mess anything else up.
I woke up this morning a little tired, but I was ready to start a new day that didn't have any mistakes in it yet. Yet being the key word. I did the normal morning thing, gathered up my stuff, got Gary, and headed to the car. Halfway there, I realized I forgot my cell phone. I ran back got it, and set off in the car to go. In my hurry I just kinda tossed my phone in my purse, which just so happened to be in the front seat. Gary in his awesome temporary house was in the front floor board so I could kinda keep an eye on him. Well I was finally on my way. I stopped at the first stop sign on my journey, and BLOOP....there flew my phone into my wonderfully constructed turtle pond. I pulled over, grabbed some napkins from the glove compartment, took my phone apart and started drying it off as good as I could. As good as I could was not good enough. My phone is now dead.

Grrrr again.

The Library

I love the library. The quietness, the smell of millions of books, the uncomfortable seats, the weird people. It's just about the best escape I've found here in Knoxville. I go every Tuesday night with our TGA kids, and I've really started to look forward to it.

It's not often that I'm by myself. I'm usually surrounded by wonderful people who are truly blessings in my life, but I've learned that I really love, I really need time by myself. Granted, nothing really important happens when I'm there. I usually start out by getting a cup of tea and find my way through a sea of people up to the fifth floor. I try to find a carrel in a corner that's surrounded by windows where I can see an awesome view of UT's campus. From where I sit, I can see dozens of cherry and dogwood trees that are blooming, I see a tiny bit of Lake Louden, and I can watch thousands of people--each on their own personal missions to do something that I'm sure is very important. I can sometimes get lost in just watching.

I am completely free to do whatever I chose in my own little library corner. I think I mostly enjoy daydreaming. I can sit for hours and think about the awesome things I've experienced, what craziness lies in my future, and sometimes I just dream about random things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything. It's all very boring really, but I love it.
Sometimes I use the opportunity to read, which I've been addicted to lately. I don't know why, but I absolutely love getting lost in a book. I think I'm going through school withdrawal, or it may be my dorky qualities shining through, who knows.

Sometimes, like today, I spend quality time with my computer. I do the email thing, the facebook thing, and I guess when the mood strikes me, I write about randomness here. Really, this randomness is for my dearest friend. I'm more than sure that you're the only one who reads this Nessa, but I can't help but write it. Isn't our friendship just the most crazy, amazing thing ever? I mean we can go weeks and weeks without talking on the phone, or months and months without seeing each other, but I can see a picture of you in a rubbermaid box or write you a little note about how I'm all alone in a library corner and I somehow feel like I've just seen you. You are a constant part of my life, and you will be till I die. I can't tell you how much I love you. You should totally bring your rubbermaid to my library corner, and we'll hang.

I Fell in Love Today

I never really learned a lot in my physics labs. Most of my time was spent struggling to understand what crazy formulas named after weird people had to do with a pile of wires and electricity and how on earth I was going to do a lab write-up when I was completely and utterly confused. When I attended my last physics lab in college I danced a jig and sang a song of praise. I was so excited that I would never have to think about physics ever, ever again.

Today I had to go to physics lab. Today I fell in love with my husband all over again.

Sure I'm a silly, sappy girl, but it happens to me every now and then. I have a tendency to get wrapped up in day to day ho hum things and forget just how special my life has become. I get so involved in trivial things that I lose track of myself, and BAM!! I'll look over and realize that I truly have the most amazing man in my life. It hits me like a truck and causes me to lose my breath. How could I focus on anything besides how blessed I really am. It's so strange how God could have created a man who completes me in so many ways. It really shouldn't surprise me. Since I met God I've known that He's had so many things in store for me-- things that I could never ever hope to imagine on my own. Sam is like my own little glimpse of heaven, right here in Knoxville.

As I watched him today with a group of crazy teenagers confused about formulas, wires, and electricity, I was amazed. I'm sure he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary, but it was fascinating just to watch him. He was so confident in his knowledge and so graceful in the way he explained things. If I could watch him teach all day, I would. I was so proud of the way he interacted with the kids in his class. I am really blessed to say I'm married to a man who truly wants the best for those around him, and he works so hard to make sure they reach their goals. I didn't learn a thing about electricity, but I did realize that Sam is the same with me. He is completely understanding, graceful, and loving, and he works so hard to make sure I've accomplished my dreams. In the hustle and bustle of things in our life, I sometimes take that for granted. Who knew that I'd learn it all again in physics lab? I was reminded of how blessed I am today, and I fell in love with my Sam all over again. ( I love it when that happens!) I can't wait to be able to sit back and watch him with our own kids. He will be such an amazing father.

crazy dog

After returning from an awesome trip to the beach this Sunday, Sam, Sadie and I still had one more day of vacation to enjoy before we headed back to the same ol' same ol'. We were so excited to enjoy some time together alone, before I headed back to work, Sam headed back to classes, and Sadie headed back to the crazy shenanigans she gets into while we're away. Our Sadie is a pretty awesome dog. Sure she's hairy and sheds like there's no tomorrow... leaving every thing in our house looking like a little minature Sadie... but she's lovable, cuddly, and a great big ball of fun. Just watchin her run around back and forth, droolin uncontrollably, and knockin herself off balance with her lopsided tail is enough to crack me up for hours on end. However, her lastest little doggy bit of doggy tomfoolery on this last day of our vacation was not funny at all.

It all started when I was helpin Sam cut his hair. We were cleaning up, when I decided that I'd put some of the hair we cut out for the birds to help build their nests. My momma used to do that, so I figured it must be a good idea. In my hurry to do a good deed for the little birdies, I guess I forgot to close the back door tightly. My lovely dog, who I hadn't really seen for like an hour, decided this was a prime opportunity to escape. Out she ran, and down dropped my jaw, I was outside barefooted, with no dog leash, so it took me a moment to figure out what I should do. I decided that although I am in prime physical condition (ha), I would probably run faster if I put some shoes on. So I ran inside slipped on some flip flops (oh so good to run in), grabbed a leash, and hollered to Sam that I was out chasing the dog. As I ran outside I saw her sneaky white butt bounce into the woods. I thought this was pretty silly of her. In my mind I could easily pin her against a tree and catch her for sure. This was NOT the case. Sadie sprinted like an Olympic runner, and I clomped along in my flip flops tripping over roots and sticks. Before I knew it, I had lost sight of her. My heart sank and I got angrier and angrier. Our campus is huge, and she could be running anywhere. I ran up along the edge of the woods calling and begging for her to come back, but nope. Every time I called out to her, I'm sure she ran further and further away.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a white flash go by and right behind was my beloved husband, head covered in shaving cream, similar flip flops to my own, and a yell that was much, much angrier. I was sure that he would catch her. I followed behind him so I could put the leash on Sadie when he roped her in. As we were chasing it just seemed to get colder and colder, especially after I chased her through a mud puddle, which was really more like the stinkin Atlantic Ocean. After about a mile...I repeat a MILE, we had pushed her into a thicket with each of us guarding the only two openings. I guess she knew we had it in for her. When she realized she was trapped, she barked, rolled over on her back, and started waggin her tail uncontrollably. She was waiting for us to come rub her belly! The nerve of that four legged critter! We finally hooked her up to the leash and brought her back home. We scolded her and made her sit in the bathroom for a while. We were so angry with her. She does everything we ask, sit, lay, jump, catch, roll over, but our smart dog cannot master "come". I am sure that she knows how to come, she just chooses not to. Needless to say, she hung her head for the next few days, she was timid and meek, and she practically had to be forced to go near the doors. She's better now. She's happy, crazy, and having as much fun as ever. I however have learned my lesson.

Next time I'm letting the birds find twigs.

The Beginning

So I've been thinkin for a while about what to write on this here blog, and needless to say, I haven't thought of one good thing yet. I'm sure that not many people will be reading this, so I reckon I can be as random as I need to be to get something posted. So I'll be conjuring up some random stuff, and hopefully some of it will be interesting. But if I was a bettin woman, I'd bet that it's more than likely gonna be boring to most people. That's ok though; I'm excited to have a place to put my silly thoughts, vent, hope, and question my crazy world. If you're goin on this blog journey with me, bless your heart, buckle up, say a prayer, and don't expect too much ;)